I'm Not Him: Twisted
by A Raven of Emotions
Summary: A "unique" twist to my one-shot 'I'm Not Him'. Still AU, still Kames with past JettxJames. Domestic violence survivor/rose dragon!James, skater boy/ next-door neighbor!Kendall. In response to the BTR Plot Adoption Forum Writing Challenge. Small summary: "Whatever he did, know that I'm not him..."


Kendall Knight couldn't help but find his interest drawn to one person and one person only: his next-door neighbor, James Diamond.

The tall brunet moved into the neighborhood approximately a year ago. Not much was known about him, though; he kept to himself, came out of his house when he went to work, to get the mail or tend to the rose garden he had, and was generally a very quiet individual. He wasn't anti-social or anything, in fact Kendall has seen him go to the park when Sherwood Middle was playing and grab a hot chocolate at the local cafe. James Diamond wasn't anti-social, rude or downright unwanted.

But the mystery didn't revolve around who he was a as a person. The mystery, the mystery that everyone has tried in some way to make clear, revolved more in his appearance.

The appearance that he got after a very...unpleasant relationship.

An appearance that because it terrified, it awed others left him alone. Alone, ignored, and unapproachable by others. A few things were known about him, but certainly not enough.

Even with that clear, not many dared to come close.

...But Kendall Knight, Kendall Knight was a different story.

He wanted to know who James Diamond was, and to break the ridiculous view people had of him.

Just because someone looks different, doesn't make them freaks or monsters right?

That's what he believed, and that was what drove him to make his move finally.

_**-Page Break-**_

"You have a beautiful rose garden." Kendall said to the silent brunet one afternoon, backpack hanging off one shoulder.

The dirty blond was a sophomore at Sherwood University, a Music major on a Hockey scholarship.

The brunet, tall and well-muscled with wild chocolate-brown hair, shook as if startled and met Kendall's bottle green eyes with his own. The shorter (and younger; both were nineteen, but James's birthday was in September) boy felt his breath take a big leap when he took in the other's eyes.

James's eyes were...mix-matched. His right eye was wide, expressive like a child's, and a deep hazel-green. There were bits of gold and even red in between, deep and expressive and wide.

The other eye, his left eye...it was gray and cloudy, as if paled out with bleach. The pupil didn't look black but gray, and the golden-red swirls between the hazel-green were lost entirely. His left eye was pale, watery and bleached of all color, all expression. Kendall could make out below the scarf the brunet was wearing, a thin, long row of stitches below his left eye and disappearing under the red-and-black needlework. There were stitches under his good eye too, all disappearing under his scarf.

'His face, it's like he's been beaten with a sledgehammer.' Kendall thought in a mixture of disgust and anger, stomach now in knots.

James was now off his knees, one thin, caramel-colored hand holding his scarf in place while the other fiddled with the small pair of clippers. He was wearing a scarf and jacket even when it was warm out, everyone choosing tank tops and shorts for the surprisingly pleasant weather.

He always wore scarves and jackets and hats, no matter how hot it was outside.

"T-thank you." The voice that came from the beautiful, trembling teen was soft, laced with still strong insecurities. The way his left eye twitched, along with his left hand; Kendall wasn't sure it was a tremor of fear, or surprise.

"Are roses your favorite?" Kendall tried for conversation, seeing that it was safe to continue. James dropped the clippers suddenly, a strange noise leaving his now visible (and pale) thin lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Goddamn tics…!" He exclaimed, ducking his head and slapping both hands over his mouth. The dirty blond saw, with great horror, that stitches ran wild and free across James's wrists, arms and fingers. A particularly large one, the one that looked most recent, ran under the right sleeve of his shirt and...made it to his left shoulder blade.

'Oh God!'

"What's wrong, what are 'tics'?"

"Nothing, nothing! I-I-I need to-Eh!-be alone right now!" James choked out, breathing sharp and rough. He spun on his heel and made for the door, wanting nothing more than to hide away in his house until his tics were under control.

What he didn't expect was for Kendall to clasp his hand.

"Wait, what's wrong?! Are you alright, James!"

"Let me go-emph!" The brunet shook the warm comfort off and nearly ripped the tall, light blue-painted door off its hinges as he scrambled inside; the door slammed shut, hard, at his heels, leaving Kendall standing there with the clippers left at his feet.

"J-James…"

'What is going on?'

_**-Page Break-**_

A week passed. A week passed since that little incident with his next-door neighbor, Kendall Knight.

James has never felt so humiliated in his life. There he was, tending to his roses like he did every day after school and work, only to be caught at a bad time. That bad time that resulted in him going off in a fit of tics and losing composure, the composure he's tried to maintain since leaving Jett.

Normally he could control his tics, but under extreme stress…

Not that the dirty blond caused him stress. He was a pretty nice neighbor, quiet and always smiled and said "Good morning" or "Have a nice night" whenever they bumped into each other at random points of the day. He seemed nice, James only knows him through the others in the neighborhood, but why...why did he talk to him?

Not many people talked to James, why so he had a few guesses. At first he thought his shy demeanor was the cause of the ostracization, or that he was very protective of his roses. It took him a whole year for them to flourish, and many hours put into maintaining the beauty they've become. His rose garden, it was all he had to help him move on from the past.

But when it dawned on him the truth, that his rather...unsettling appearance was the cause of the ostracization then he no longer tried to reach out. He couldn't change the stitch work holding his skin together, literally. He couldn't change the discoloration of his left eye, or his tics and prosthetic leg.

The discolored eye, the stitch work and prosthetic leg were reminders, physical reminders, of his past. of the past that he decided to leave behind roughly a year ago, but that somehow still haunted him at night.

At night in his dreams, and during the day through the emptiness of his house.

James sighed and stared at his naked body in the mirror, tears streaming down his thin cheeks.

The stitches decorated his chest, arms, wrists and shoulders in an array of vines. Prickly, hard, and black; they went up and down, criss-cross, cutting through and reconnecting miles and miles of once smooth, soft caramel-colored skin. Skin now rough, rigid and leathery.

James ran a hand down the smooth, curved tree of metal rods and pylon that replaced what use to be his right leg. He fingered the sock, marveling at the softness before he felt a swell of sadness fill him up like a well.

He didn't mind having a prosthetic leg. Thanks to it, he could still walk and he's improved a lot since his first physical therapy session. Adjustments have been made, it no longer felt painful or awkward but the loss of his leg...having to get it amputated due to what happened still made the brunet cry.

'If I had just left when I could, instead of waiting around then...maybe I wouldn't look like this.' James bit his lower lip, careful not to meet the stitches at the corners of his mouth, and wiped at his eyes.

Both blinked and closed at the same time, but the glossiness of his gray eye he's only seen in horror movie characters. The discoloration, the bleach-y color and never-ending wetness to it; the doctor had said he was lucky to still have his eye, even though he couldn't see through it anymore. He couldn't get corrective surgery for it, nothing could be done. He was left to depend on his right eye for vision, and sometimes that felt like it wasn't enough.

He was glad he could still see, somewhat, but it didn't make him feel less worthless. It didn't make him feel any less pathetic either, to have stayed in a terrible situation despite his concerns.

'Why didn't I leave when I had the chance…? Why?'

**Knock knock!**

"Gah!" James nearly lashed out the mirror, left hand twitching.

'Damnit, Goddamn tics!' A choking, squawk-like sound left his lips and he tried to muffle it. He mentally counted down in his head until he felt the screeching in his throat stop, the jerky movements of his fingers subside.

It took five minutes, two for the tics to die down completely and three for the brunet to recuperate before he pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't bother to grab his scarf and hat; he could just open the front door an inch, enough for his good eye to be seen and for him to find out who it was. He could just keep the chat brief, smile as if cued and then hide away from the world again. It was a Monday; it was his day off and there was no school, he had nothing to worry about for the first time in months.

Adjusting to this new life, this new home has been hard. Even though he's been living here, attending school here for a while he still feels...unsafe, weak and broken in the new house. In his new life.

"I'm coming." He kept that short in case his tics would come up again, tackling the stairs two steps at a time before finally reaching the door.

He was surprised, however, at who he saw standing on the front steps.

"K-K-Kendall?" Said dirty blond smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck while he held up...several new gardening tools and pots.

The brunet eyed the shorter boy warily, wondering what was going on.

"Umm…"

"Hey, James. Listen I...I'm sorry I freaked you out last week, it wasn't my intention. I just wanted to be a good neighbor and see how you were doing; obviously I screwed that up though and I'm sorry, and so I thought to brought you these. I noticed your clippers were getting rusty, so I bought you a new case of gardening tools. You know, to replace any old ones you have and these pots too. I thought maybe you'd like to show off your roses on the window sills…" Kendall began rambling nervously, though his eyes were shining in genuine affection. He carried everything in a neat bundle in his arms, head cocked to the side like a child's.

James couldn't believe it. Kendall, his next-door neighbor who he felt bad for scaring like that...was apologizing and giving him gifts?

He noticed his clippers were falling apart, and the pots...he's been wanting to buy some but school and work have kept him so occupied that it always slipped his mind to go to Wal-Mart or Lowe's. He always pushed back the day he'd get more better, newer gardening supplies to maintain his lovely roses.

And now this guy, this sweet and friendly and...dare he admit it, cute guy had taken the time to buy him what he needed and was apologizing for something that wasn't his fault.

'W-what is going on?'

"James? James, you okay?"

"Yes, I-I'm just surprised. How did you...why did you do this for-Eh!-me?" The brunet asked, truly baffled and opening the front door some more.

Kendall looked down at the gardening supplies in his arms, a pink blush coloring his pale, creamy cheeks. "Because it was jerk-ish of me to scare you like that. I mean, all I wanted was to say hi and stuff and I screwed that up. I wanted to make it up to you, James, because you've always been nice to me every time we've talked.

'I have?'

"Plus, I did some research on 'tics'. I know what they are now; you have Tourette syndrome, don't you?" Kendall asked, bottle green eyes soft and voice gentle like wind chimes. The taller, older boy blushed a dark red, looking away.

That was all of an answer Kendall needed, though.

"I looked it up after what happened last week, because I wanted to learn what it was. Tourette syndrome is when you make these sounds or movements you can't control; it starts out when you're a kid and sometimes they disappear completely as you get older, and sometimes they show up in adulthood but not as badly. You make sudden sounds, and your body jerks or twitches. You have Tourette's, right?"

"Yes." James closed his eyes to avoid seeing that look of revulsion, of disgust and sick amusement. Everyone use to make fun of him as a kid for his tics, making exaggerated noises and twitches to mock him.

That, along with his prosthetic leg, stitches and discolored eye, he was waiting for the down-to-earth blond to turn on him.

'Turn on me, and hurt me just like Jett did...'

"You know, I think you're pretty amazing." James blinked.

Okay, he wasn't expecting that..!

"A-amazing-emph! Why?" Kendall's lips twisted upwards into a smile again, dirty blond bangs sticking out from under his Spider-Man cap.

"Because having Tourette's...I imagine it's not an easy fight, is it? Kids nowadays can be pretty cruel with what they say or do, they always pick on someone who's different. But when I see your roses, how well you care for them it makes it clear that you're really strong, James. You are very strong, and that's really amazing in itself."

'I'm strong? But how, when I couldn't leave an abusive relationship until it got really bad? Until I came out losing my eye, my leg, my dignity and a majority of my face in pieces?'

"T-tourette's is hard to li-Eh!-live with." The brunet whispered, leaning against the door. Kendall's expression softened even more, juggling around the stuff in his arms so one hand can lightly meet with James's on the door frame.

The older boy winced but resisted the urge to pull away.

"I won't say I understand, since I don't know what it's like to have an obstacle like that. But I can say this: you're amazing, and have some pretty damn beautiful roses."

James's lips twitched, a hint of a smile crossing his usually stoic face. That made Kendall's insides feel warm, squishy and liquid-like.

"T-thank you."

"You're welcome, James. Well I'll leave you to whatever you were doing, okay?"

"You w-wouldn't like to come in?" James asked before he lost his nerve, looking scared for asking though.

Kendall's eyes widened a fraction, clearly taken back by the other's question. It only took a few minutes for him to recover and smile back though, the warm, squishy feeling inside only growing.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

_**-Page Break-**_

"Wow. This place...it's beautiful." Kendall gaped as he took in the paradise that was James's backyard, the brunet blushing behind him.

Long, large arches of pinks, reds, whites, yellows; the rainbow of roses seemed to never end, only landing in plush, rich green bushes. Everything was evenly trimmed, the trees healthy and tall with apples, pears and other fruits at their ripest peak. There was a fountain in the center of the masterpiece, birds relaxing and water strikers crossing the soft waves with their long, thin legs.

It was hard to keep a garden like this as it was, with the Minnesota weather so unpredictable, but Kendall...he was in awe by the soft nature. The radiant beauty, the simplicity yet serenity of it all.

It was amazing.

The dirty blond turned to James, who instead of wearing jeans and a hat and scarf chose to go for a pair of black shorts, a white tank top and sandals today. His prosthetic leg seemed to shine under the bright sun over their heads, stitches and glossed over eye in plain view. He seemed a little uneasy about being so "exposed", but his smile was unlike the usual one he pulled out.

It looked almost...serene, content.

"Thank you. It-Eh!-took a while to get it this way, but it was worth the long hours." James replied, taking a seat at the round, glass table he set up for the backyard. Kendall smiled like a kid on Christmas, plopping down in the seat next the brunet and taking his hand over the table.

"It's beautiful, just like you." The dirty blond said with a wink, making the older boy blush.

They've been friends for about two months now. Wow, time sure did go by fast; it felt to James like only yesterday did he allow the other to enter his house.

And now...he was comfortable with being touched by another person.

He wasn't as disgusted by his eye, leg and stitches. And his tics, Kendall had this innate ability to make them come up less and less. Maybe it was the blond's cheerfulness, his energy and spunk.

Or maybe it was all happening in James's head. It wouldn't be the first time he's imagined something that wasn't there.

Like Jett really loving him…

A wince left the brunet, which immediately concerned Kendall. "James, is everything okay?"

"Yes, i-i-it's just that...I lied to you, Kendall. The reason why I started this rose garden wasn't to deal with my Tourette's. Well that's part of the reason, but there's something else." James began, feeling his eyes water. Kendall squeezed his hand lightly in comfort, the other lightly brushing James's right cheek.

"What's the other reason, James? I mean you don't have to tell me yet, if you're not ready…"

"That's the thing, though. I don't think I'll ever be ready and I j-ju-Eh!-just want to say the reason why now. I'll never be ready; you're the only person I've ever wanted to tell though, so please if you w-will…

Kendall nodded and went silent, eyes warm and ears listening closely. James took another deep breath, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks.

"I-I was in a relationship, with a guy named Jett Stetson. At first, everything was great; he was nice, a-a-attentive and sweet. But after a while...I don't know he just grew violent, he'd beat me and k-kick me and scream at me. If I didn't say "Good morning" to him, he'd slap me. He slapped me so hard once that it split my lower lip open. He just changed suddenly, and I-Eh!-couldn't figure out why.

James's face scrunched up as if in pain, though Kendall quickly realized it was only a tic. "I tried to leave him, over and over though I kept going back. You see, I'm not really...'normal'."

"James, normality is so overrated." Kendall pointed out. A smile pulled at the brunet's lips, making the blond's insides melt (James had a beautiful smile), before the seriousness of the conversation returned.

"I know, but what I can do...what I _am _doesn't really go with the whole 'normal' thing. Okay just, j-j-just watch okay?"

_**-Page Break-**_

The bright, golden light started to fade away. Kendall's eyes were wide, the bottle green taking on an emerald tint from the flash of gold. His jaw fell slack, heart skipping a beat before once again picking up the pace.

James opened his mix-matched eyes, a weak smile on his lips.

His hair wasn't as spiky. It was longer, almost shoulder-length and now a dark pink. His bangs fell over his eyes and framed his high cheekbones, his thin eyebrows the same color. His skin was lighter, not so much a caramel tone now but a soft butter honey. His right eye was a rich, deep crimson red; his left eye was the same, yet Kendall could make out brown now more prominent. His stitches were still in place, but his clothes were different: a black turtleneck that stopped above his naval, a dark pink sleeveless jacket over it and black fingerless gloves. His shorts were gone, replaced by a pair of black leather pants, feet covered by a pair of black socks.

And the wings. The large, black-and-dark pink wings sprouting from the small of his back. They were large, majestic and fitting for the mysterious introvert.

"W-wha…?"

"I-I'm a rose dragon, Kendall. I'm one of the few rose dragons that still exist, and we're sent to different universes to make our homes there. I was sent h-here and Jett found me and...well, you se-Eh!-see what happened. My powers can't heal the physical injuries I suffer, only of those around me. Rose dragons' specialty is healing; the roses I grow, every petal...all you have to do is hold one in your hand, and every cut, gash and bruise is immediately healed. The thing is, I can't revert back to my dragon form. This is as far as I can get; Jett...was a dragon hunter, and somehow he knew about me and kept me prisoner. He used me as a slave, and took all the roses I grew for himself. He kept me in a cage in the basement of his house, and beat me and nearly k-killed me. I finally got the courage to escape a year ago, I knew I'd die if I stayed there any longer. He gave up on hunting me, since I made sure not to leave my signature anywhere...but I can't revert to my dragon form, I think it's because of the...brokenness inside. H-h-he destroyed me, Kendall!

The rose dragon soon broke down crying, Kendall soon pulling him close to his chest. "I-I-I thought I could trust him-emph! I thought he was my f-friend, someone who could help m-Eh!-me! And now, I can't be how I really am! Wh-why did he do that, Kendall? Why?"

Said dirty blond sighed and buried his face into James's dark pink hair, wishing he could do something to take the other's pain away. "I don't know, James. I don't know why he, or people in general really, did that...but he won't hurt you again. I promise he won't, James.

James tried to pull away, but the shorter boy sure was strong. One of his hands was stroking his hair, the other around his middle though careful for the stitches. "He won't hurt you again, James. It's going to be okay, I promise. I won't let him or anyone else hurt you again, I won't let him. It's going to be okay, James.

"B-but you're human!"

"Not every human hunts dragons, James. Plus I care about you, a lot. I...I want to love you, the right way. I'll be anything and everything you might want: your boyfriend, your best friend, everything. But I'm not him, James. It's okay, it's okay to walk away and leave the pain inside you behind. Your life, you have your whole life right in front of you; don't let him take that away from you, James.

"My life?"

"Yeah, your life. It's _yours_, not his. You're free of him, and if he ever does come back...he'll have to go through me first! I won't let anyone hurt you, James. Whatever he did...I'm not him, I'll never be like him and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. You just have to let me in, and not try to make up for the mistakes _he_ made. None of this is your fault, and it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, James, I'm here. No more hiding your secrets, it's okay to trust me; I'll never hurt you, I promise…"

The rose dragon bit his lower lip, but soon closed his eyes and curled up more against Kendall's chest. The shorter boy began rocking him back and forth, singing to him a song he wrote himself. James soon noticed though that the gem he was wearing, a big emerald stone hanging from his neck on a chain, began...began to glow.

It was a weak glow, so dim you'd miss it if you weren't paying attention. But it was there, James could see it. He could see, and that somehow restored some of the hope he lost roughly a year ago.

'The gem...the center of my powers, it's glowing. That means, there's a chance I recover my dragon form again. Somehow, someway I can.'

James closed his eyes again and sighed, a smile pulling at his lips.

Kendall could feel the smile against his chest, and he smiled too.

'It's okay, James. I'll teach you how to love again, and get your dragon form back. I won't hurt you; I'm not him.'

* * *

><p>It's on! Welp, here's my entry to the challenge I started for everyone, part of the forum or not, of the BTR Plot Adoption Forum! Who's going to answer? Hope everyone enjoys this spin on the one-shot I put up by the title 'I'm Not Him'! Read, review, enjoy and happy writing! Looking forward to hear what a few have to say about this piece, and hope everyone gets motivated for my challenge! Stay beautiful and see you all in the next magic act! :D <strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush! All I own is the plot of this one-shot and the idea of a rose dragon! :)<strong>


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